Show me the true meaninq of love ! ):

I've ,

2009-12-11T12:23:00.000+08:00

I 'VE MOVED !

PLS RELINK !

difffromtheothers.blogspot.com

Happiness doesnt lasts ,

2009-12-08T01:00:00.000+08:00

For me , hapiness never lasts forever ,

To other ppl it does , but to me never .

I always see everyone have a better life than me ,

Whyee , can't all the pain and sufferinq just leave and let me be?

Whenever i'm happy , it feels like next day it's all qone and i'm feelinq blue ,

Whyee , can't alll my dreams come true ?

Maybe i'll have never endinq happiness like you .

Tired of cryinq and siqhinq , wishinq of dyinq .

Seeinq other ppl livinq their dreams in reality and mine only in fantasy .

Each day i'm livinq life full of sorrows .

Nothinq qreat happens it's all the same ,

Losinq fate , now filled with hate .

I just don't know how much i can take .

Whyee , can't hapiness last forever , at least for my sake ?

sadness ,

2009-12-03T23:44:00.001+08:00

Sadness is the tears in your eyes , the way it felt to say qoodbye ,sadness is when your heart wants to stop , but knowinq you'll qo on without a second thouqht ,sadness is when the pain is too qreat ,but the days wears on ; meaninqless hate ,sadness is when the clock ticks by , and your sittinq there countinq the hours , the days , untill you will just fade away , sadness is the sharp stinq inside , when you look into others eyes , sadness is lookinq out beinq trapped withen ,poundinq on the doors , so sick of sin ,

sadness is my heart beat , sadness is my heart beat , each painful teardrop , knowinq it wout be the last .

Qoinq to sit here and pretend like I'm not breakinq ,

2009-12-03T23:34:00.002+08:00

At times , you qot me speechless and my words just can't come out from my mouth , they're stuck .I hate not beinq able to come out into the open and tell you what i'm thinkinq and feelinq . The pain burns my soul like acid rain drops . I just can't forqive myself bby , for whatever shit i've put you throuqh . I know , sayinq sorry isn't enouqh to heal your pain but i don't know what more to do to make you forqive me bby .Im just teribbly sorry bby . After for so lonq , when i huqqed you , my tears went down your shoulders . I tried my hardest to hold it back , not lettinq it to fall but im too weak bby , im no lonqer stronq . Im just embarrass to face you .I know you're qoinq throuqh alot .Im really sorry , i didn't mean to put you in this situation .Your name was the only one i speak about . When you put me throuqh this condition , others try to replace you bby . But i refused to let them in , cause you're the only one i want . I finally found were i belonq , people like my family, i thouqh it was here to stay i quess it was all wronq , please dont walk away from me i cant take any more qoodbyes . I want to be remembered as the qirl who smile's eventouqh her heart is broken . And the one who could briqhten up your day , even if she couldn't briqhten up hers .I'd rather speak a hundred hurtful words,than say the hardest one, qoodbye.

Fallinq heart ,

2009-12-01T00:53:00.000+08:00

Hookinq up with you was the best thinq that could have ever happened to me and now i wish that you were still there for me and still by my side , helpinq me threw all the bad thinqs that i have been throuqh lately .The worst thinq is qoinq throuqh all these alone . When i'm in my room , i sit there and asked myself , what went wronq ,was it you or me ? Baby , what are we doinq feels like we are runninq throuqh a cold river and you have been washed away from me . What happened to the man that i used to know ? the one that i fell in love with , the man that could make me happy no matter what mood i was in . When i qo outside and look at the stars , i see that same twinkle that i seen in your charminq eyes , the same qlow , the same warm feelinq in my heart .Now that you are not here , what am i to do ? Not wantinq you qone out of my life but theres nothinq i could do . When i call to see how you have been , there in a silence , on the other end of the phone . When i text you , there is no answer and when finally text back its ; IM BUSY . For the past five days that is all i have heard from you .I know that me and you are meant to be forever in one anothers arms but i know that you dont see the same thinq that i see .My heart is broken and cold like no one was there to love me , no one to show me that i was a special to them . Life is not about what you can live with , its what you cant live without and baby , that's you .

)'.=

I didn't knew ,

2009-11-30T02:54:00.000+08:00

It hurts so bad
it makes me sad
these feelinqs wont leave me
they took over my head.
They are tearinq me apart
crushinq every sinqle piece of my tender heart
its like someone punched me in my stomach
and knocked the air out of me
I can not breath the air makes me sick , sick as can be .
My eyes aren't producinq tears anymore
so i cry invisible tears , somethinq i never did before
I'm qettinq weaker and weaker as time passes by
and i don't care to try , Sincerely i rather die
It hurts so bad
and no one ever understands
a huq wont help , not even holdinq hands .
I feel so alone ,so left behind
me and these feelinqs in this endless mind
clueless and hopeless and fallinq apart
yes , its this empty feelinq in this heartless heart .

Whyee issit with every meetinq ,

2009-11-28T22:49:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to explain ,
The way that I feel, causes so much pain .
Why did i have to fall for you ,
After all the shit we've been throuqh .

Whyee do I smile , whenever you're near ?
Whyee does my heart beat faster , when it's your voice I hear ?
Whyee do my knees buckle , when I see you smile ?
How have you known I've felt like this for awhile ?

Whyee do I loose my breath, just by your touch ,
Whyee can't you understand , I need you so much.
Whyee are you in my dreams at niqht ?
Whyee is our love the one you have to fiqht ?

Your lips on mine ,
your hands throuqh my hair ,
I can't remember ,
A time when you weren't there .

The warmth of your embrace ,
The touch of your skin ,
Why are you the one ,
That always seems to win ?

Our hands entwined , I hold your qaze ,
I wake up from this dream in such a haze .
My heart, beatinq faster , just by thinkinq of your touch ,
You knew from the start , I missed you too much .

)'=

Lovinq you ,

2009-11-28T22:44:00.000+08:00

All my lyfe i was betrayed ,

I didnt mean to push you away !

I have learn to believe in you ,

You know i care ,

And at this moment you are the only one

I want to try to believe ,

To love ,

Qive you a place in my heart ,

I just need some times ,

The rest of the people can die in their self pity and foolish qames !

I was on the edqe of imaqination ,

When your face interrupt my concentration ,

Its you my heart starts to scream ,

Because i finally found the man in my dream ,

When i see you , my day statred to briqht ,

When you smile at me , i feel so liqht ,

You added the colour of rainbow in my eyes ,

When your near my mind start to flies ,

But when your out of my siqht ,

i didnt feel alriqht ,

and when you look at me ,

i cant seem to move normally,

Maybe , your the man that i've been wantinq ,

the only prince that i kept on searchinq ,

my happiness , my dream came true ,

the man who can tell me ''Ily '' .

Would you ,

2009-11-26T04:11:00.004+08:00

Would you remember me if i wasn't here ?
Or that scented smell which pulled you near ,
Would you remember me if i had no soul ?
Knowinq the feelinq you would never be whole ,
That all your life you were never my qoal .
Would you remember me if i forqot about you ?
Livinq the life without an i love you too ,
Would you remember me if i died toniqht ?
Alone and anqry still tryinq to fiqht ,
Healinq the fact our future's not riqht .
Would you remember me if i live a life of sins ?
Not knowinq where pain ends and the truth beqins ,
Would you remember me if i couldn't cry any tears ?
Walkinq a road where shoutinq falls on deaf ears ,
Tryinq hard to qet throuqh , thouqh no one hears .
Would you remember me if i had to leave ?
Leavinq you alone with that heart in your sleeve ,
Would you rememeber me if i remembered too ?
All those memories which we went throuqh ,
Knowinq that my love was for no one but you .

What she wants ,

2009-11-26T04:04:00.003+08:00

She wants so much to be loved ;
To have someone hold her hand ,
Huq her when she's cold ,
Comfort her when she's sad ,
And love her to no end .
She wantd so much to be happy ;
To lauqh for no reason ,
Smile a qenuine smile ,
Not cry herself to sleep ,
And feel like her life is qreat .
She wants so much to be carefree ;
To worry about nothinq ,
Focus on every little qood thinqs ,
Not have so many breakdowns ,
And not to miss him so much .

The times ,

2009-11-25T04:38:00.004+08:00

We met when we were stranqers ,
That wasn't that lonq aqo ,
Now we can't wait to see each other ,
Hold each other in our arms ,
Look into each other's eyes ,
For we are meant to be toqether for all times ,
We are a lot alike ,
I woun't hurt you ,
I can't ever hurt you ,
You are one of the best thinqs in my life ,
Before we met I felt trapped ,
You set me free,
It was like I didn't exist ,
Like I was a shadow no one noticed until I met you ,
Now I'm a qhost only you can see ,
I belonq to you and you alone ,
Without you I'm nothinq I die ,
You are the only thinq that keeps me alive ,
I want to hold you in my arms forever ,
I won't leave you ,
I care about you and I will always ,
You will always be in heart .

If only you knew ,

2009-11-25T04:26:00.003+08:00

If you only knew , the love that has manifested ,
You'll realize that i want us to be destined ,
If you only knew how i feel in the inside ,
You'll realize my love is bound by true , and contain no lies .
If only you knew how much you stay on my mind ,
You'll realize that i think about you all the time ,
If you only knew what happens when i hold your hand ,
You'll realize , touchinq you , takes me into a trance .
If you only knew a stronqer love i have for you as a friend ,
You'll realize a secret side of me within ,
If you only knew that you should always be my friend , and not be missed ,
You'll realize , I woun't date you , because i can't take that risk .

Throuqh those ,

2009-11-24T23:51:00.004+08:00

Im qivinq up this life i had ,
so i can be with you ,
no one really likes us toqether ,
but who cares , they have no clue ,
how much we love each other ,
how much we care ,
they don't seem to notice ,
we have a life we want to share ,
they try to rip us apart ,
sometimes they almost succeed ,
people don't care how we feel ,
they are just full of qreed ,
but we are still toqether ,
and that's all that really matters ,
they can suffer their worries ,
as we watch their lives shatter.

Whyee ,

2009-11-23T19:24:00.002+08:00

You wonder whyee i love you ,
and have doubts when i pause time to answer ,
It's not that im makinq thinqs up ,
I know exactly what to say ,
to me , it's second nature ,
just like common sense .
But when i want to answer ,
all of my reasons wants to come out at once ,
it's like a little race of their own ,
who's to be first ?
Don't question whyee i love you ,
cause then you'll start to doubt my love ,
and that's more painful than what a bullet ,
can't to do my heart .
But , if you really , REALLY want to know ,
then ok , here it qoes !
I know that i really love you ,
because in your arms is the only place i can call home ,
when im in my lowest state of emotion ,
just your smile brinqs me riqht back up .
And when we kiss , every sinqle bit of me ,
even the tiniest particle , qets centered in my heart ,
and even thouqh i can't see it ,
i feel the fireworks qoinq crazy riqht above us .

Babby hazeeq is as cute as ,

2009-11-21T00:26:00.004+08:00

Iqnore my previous post ,
I was blabberinq nonsence there .
So ,
ended up , went to K.K.H around 2 and reached there by 4.10 .
Met Ohlinsyq and had a qood chat with her .
I just dont know how to say ,
se look so pale and weak but ,
i know , she'll be okey ,
cause she's a stronq woman kann Ohlin ?
Imissyou still ,
come back home as fast as you can okey dear and recover as soon as possible
:D

Welcom to the world ,

2009-11-20T02:36:00.002+08:00

First thinq first ,
i would like to conqratulate Ohlinsyqq for safely qivinq birth to Babby Hazeeq .
Yes ! as you can quess ,
Me and Reena cant sleep cause we cant wait to meet Ohlinsyqq .
We're waitinq for the time to come ,
Later 7pm ,
we'll be visitinq her at K.K.H ,
Dearest clique will be followinq us ,
Elly Ketot , Atinq Atonq .
Ohlinsyqq ,
you're someone's mother now ,
you must be stronq to face life nowdays dear ,
me and reena would be pleasure to be your listeninq ear dear (:

Pain

2009-11-19T05:33:00.005+08:00

I remember those times where i would stay up all niqht,
lost and confused alone and used.
I remember the niqhts where i would sit and listen to the fiqhts,
hopinq maybe tomorrow would be a better day.
I remember the niqhts when i wish i wasn't alive,
i wish i was livinq a different life.
I remember the niqht where i would cut myself to make thinqs riqht,
it was a temporary fix but it did the trick.
I remember the niqhts when all i could do was cry,
the only thinq i could ask was why.
I remember the niqhts where the pillow was the only thinq that i could hold tiqht,
i never knew what love was like.
I remember the niqhts that all i wanted was to die,
i was livinq a lie all i did was hide.
I remember the time that i looked into your eyes,
i never wanted you to say qoodbye.
I remember your voice so soft and polite,
over and over all threw the niqht.
I remember feelinq so safe and no lonqer just a waste,
you saved me with your lovinq embrace.
I remember fallinq for you and now all that matters is you,
you were there to catch me riqht when i needed you.
I don't remember feelinq anymore pain,
with you i have so much to qain.
I don't remember those sleepless niqhts,
with you everythinq is finally riqht.
I don't remember the last time i cried,
with you my eyes are finally dried.
I don't remember ever feelinq this way but I hope it's here to stay.
I don't know what to do,
When i can't explain to you.
That the words just won't come out
Even thouqh inside they shout.
It's like I've lost my voice
But not throuqh my own choice.
I wish you could read my mind
And then my thouqhts you'd find.
My heart starts beatinq fast
I am silenced by my past
No one knows how hard it can be
No one will ever understand me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6K7k1kjBR4

Lettinq you qo ,

2009-11-19T05:00:00.004+08:00

Dearest best ex TTM ; K.K ,

Skivinq, thats what you are,
Never had a care in the world for my heart.
You play your tricks & qames,
And then watch our love qo up in flames.
I thouqht what we had could be real,
But all you do is cheat & steal,
I cant see whats brouqht this on,
But yet in my heart to you Im still drawn.
Somehow I wish I could make you see,
All the pain that you've caused me,
Somehow I wish I could put it on you,
Show you whats its like to be ridiculed.
Unforqivable is how I see you now,
So here it is, my final vow,
To walk away and never turn around,
Even thouqh when out of siqht I will fall to the qround.
Ive made my mark now, Im movinq on.
Over the next hill I shall look upon,
To qet myself back up to speed,
And hopinq this time my heart wont bleed.
Another day in the life and times of me
Another day added on to the last time I've seen your face
I've been countinq for one years now unable to forqet your touch
Unable to forqet your smell or your face
I've been constantly haunted by the memories
The memories we shared the memories we made
Tryinq to smile throuqh the hail of thouqhts attackinq my mind
The love that we shared continuously tryinq to resurface
But I have to keep it at bay
I don't know if you're hurtinq like me or any at all
The pain that follows me is excrutiatinq and unbearable
I try my hardest not to miss you
But no matter what I do the subtle hints remain .

Im qlad that you've realised your mistakes and you would want to repent on each and evey one of your mistakes .
That's why i respected you .
I pray hard thinqs woun't qet too hard on you today .
& I hope you could chanqe for a betta man in the future .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mHkofymBlI

Babylove ,

2009-11-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

Babbyy ;
It started out like any other summer ,
Every sinqle joy and fear ,
That's how we found eachother .
I can tell myself I'm over you all I want ,
But no matter how much I tell myself that ,
My heart knows the love I have for you will never qo away ,
No matter how far the distance ,
My love for you never dies .
You owe me my heart, my happiness, my smile .
Whenever I feel alone
I think a thouqht of you
and all the loneliness qoes.
You are my moonliqht
in the niqht sky
shininq hiqh and briqht
lovinq me with so much miqht.
Your are my sunshine
in the sky above
burninq to life
your heavenly love.
Whenever I feel scared
I close my eyes and take
a deep breath.
You are there to save me
no matter what happens next.
When all is blackened
and dark you stand by me,
Your arms embrace me
from the evil that embarks.
Whenever I feel sad
you tell me stories
that make me laugh,
You make all my tears
dry without fallinq apart.
You are the heartbeats
beatinq inside me,
Carryinq me throuqh
everythinq life brinqs.
You are everywhere
I need you to be ,
My one and only
(:
I love you baby .

Dont you quys miss me ,

2009-11-17T23:16:00.009+08:00

I'm startinq to miss each and every one of them ,
Sometimes the feelinqs we start have aqain
are the same feelinqs ,
that never really went away .

Dearest ex TTM ; KecikKitaro ,
I'm not sad that its all over ,
I'm sad that we started it in the beqinninq .
We've both been hurt in the past,
And lettinq qo now will only brinq more pain.
But we have no other choice,
When the love we thouqht we shared,
Is no lonqer there.
With every swollen tear drop
and every swallowed siqh ,
I have finally come to realize
that you will never be my quy .
I think the worst mistake i've ever made was callinq you after we both
knew it was over between us .
):

Dearest cousin ; Sarah Misha ,
be stronq dear ,
with every circumstance you're facinq it ,
it's a part of life hunny .
Be patience and im riqht here by your side to quide you throuqh
with whatever obstacles you're facinq ,
always cheer up , wipe your damp eyes and tell me when it rains .
ily dear , take care of yourself ,
(:

Dearest friend ; ApitSkye &Dann ,
How do you know when you have a real friend ?
How do you know that it will never end ?
How do we all cope with a so called friend that turned their back on you ?
Those are some questions I need answered . I thouqht we were cool . I thouqht we had fun . Lauqhing and jokinq about all of the thinqs we had done .
I miss you quys ,
):
Dearest best mates ; Lynn&Didi ,
A friend is someone you trust
Someone to talk to in qood times and bad
Someone who is always there
to spend time with and cares
A friend never betrays you
Its someone who is always qonna be by your side
and wont do anythinq to hurt you
A friend doesn't talk bad about you or lies
A friend is someone that will be there till the end ,
i miss you qals & i love you qals ,
(:

Dearest 2nd ex and close friend ; Izad&Erahh ,
I watch the seasons chanqe from summer to winter.
The leaves fall off the trees, as the same tree beqins to die.
Flowers hide beneath the qround, or they die as well.
We lay awake chilly, the heater is broken.
Such a drastic chanqe.
We all have qrown to know so well.
however i also watch you and I.
A season of friendship, that shall never die.
I miss you quys and i love you quys .
(:

Dearest friend ; Faas ,
How do you know when you have a real friend ?
How do you know that it will never end ?
How do we all cope with a so called friend that turned their back on you ?
Those are some questions I need answered . I thouqht we were cool . I thouqht we had fun . Lauqhing and jokinq about all of the thinqs we had done .
I miss you ,
):

Dearest friend ; Kecek ,
How do you know when you have a real friend ?
How do you know that it will never end ?
How do we all cope with a so called friend that turned their back on you ?
Those are some questions I need answered . I thouqht we were cool . I thouqht we had fun . Lauqhing and jokinq about all of the thinqs we had done .
I miss you quys ,
):

Dearest best mates ; Miss Sunshine ,
As the Sun sets in the sky,
Tears may pass you by.
As leaves begin to fall,
You miqht not know at all,
But I am here for you.
I love you & i miss you dear ,
(:

Dearest friends ; everyone in the pic ,
The heater is always workinq were we stand.
Burninq soothinqly throuqhout the winter niqhts.
Sprinq approaches once aqain
With showers of joy we reached another season as friends.
I'll admit, friend, i know i have put you throuqh parole.
Think not of such thinqs, and what can become of us.
Don't you see? Don't you believe?
The thinqs we can do, the thinqs we can achieve.
I watched the seasons chanqe from summer to fall
The leaves start to fall once aqain.
We stand toqether and smile.
At another season we will face toqether.
I love you quys&I miss you quys
(:

Dearest best mates ; Atin&Ina ,
I'm here when you want to talk
I'm here when you need help
I'm here for you to qet your back
I'm here when you are cryinq
I miss you qals and i love you qals .
(:

Dearest 3rd ex ; Mahdi ,
I cherished every moment with you ,
thanks for beinq there everytime by my side but ,
the closer i look ,
the more i see ,
how we were never meant to be .
I'm sorry if all those 6months that we've been throuqh ,
was just a waste for you ,
im sorry for all those pain that i've put you throuqh.
<260908~260308>
):

Dearest Friend ; Kecik ,
Im missinq you now and then ,
im wanderinq ,
how have you been ?
Whyee didn't you called me for a very lonq time ?
Do you missed me like i do ?
Remember those thick and thin that we've been throuqh ?
Remember when we cried to each other tellinq about our life story ?
How can i not forqqoten a friend like you ,
whom had seen me cry and wiped away those tears of mine ?
Imy dear .
):

Dearset close friend ; Anna&Nas ,
I promise that when the darkness of your niqht
covers the liqht of your sky
I'll be there to make it briqht
I promise that when the tears of pain and sorrow
are running down your cheek
I'll be there to dry them away
and to say somethinq sweet till I see a smile on you're face
I miss you quys and i love you quys .
(:

Dearest bbyq ; Yanii ,
Speechless everyday not knowinq anythinq but a few ,
words that rinq so loudly and cause a tear or two to fall .
I just don't know .. you know i would do anythinq .
Qive you a new life to live if only i had that power .
This one has wilted .How come ?
i mean .. whyee is it this way ? Who decided to do this ?
I quess anythinq and everythinq happens for a reason ,
but this has me speechless .
Imy&Ily dear ,
):

Dearest bbyq ; Louisa ,
Me and you are completely opposites, but were two of a kind,
Trouqh the joy and pain we have been throuqh toqether,
Throuqh the happiness and sadness we've been with each other.
Suddenly thinqs weren't the same with me and you.
We qrew apart to the point where we were no lonqer speakinq or even friends
and I still don't understand why
I wonder if its somethinq thinq I did
Or if everythinq that has happened its untrue.
Imy&Ily dear ,
):

Dearest bbyq ; Ohlin ,
Hope ..is there any left ,
or am i just blinded by it's existence ?
To hear about this pain ,
what you qo throuqh ..
I just wish i could see you smile ,
embrace you with my arms
and cry toqether until no tears
remained ; If only i could .
Do you remember everythinq that we have went throuqh
Just to see each other smile, and laugh?
Do you remember all the conversations we had about the quys?
How we had nicknames for them? How when ever we spoke of them
Nobody else knew who they were?
Do you remember when we went to the mall,
and how somethinq always happened.
Imy&Ily dear
(:

I wanna be ,

2009-11-14T16:01:00.003+08:00

Bbylove ;
I love you more every day,
My name I lonq for you to say.
Do you know just how I feel?
Do you know this love is real?
Sometimes I wonder what you think.
When you hear my name, do your cheeks turn pink?
Do you dream about me every niqht?
Wish to huq me and hold me tiqht?
Do you think we're meant to be?
Toqether forever, you and me?
These are the questions that run throuqh my mind,
Your way into my heart, you did find.
It drives me crazy as to what I should do,
Should I risk a friendship and confess to you?
Or should I keep my feelinqs inside,
Keep them locked up, let them hide?
I just don't know what to do anymore,
My heart it aches, my heart it's sore.
I love you more than you could know,
And I don't want to ever let you qo.
So even if I'm just a friend,
I'll always love you until the end.

A story

2009-11-14T15:57:00.003+08:00

This qoes out to my best EX TTM , K.K ;

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet,
I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met,
How you felt around me? The memories we shared,
And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared.

Now think about how we parted, and how much I cried ,
But please don't speak, remember that I never ever lied ,
That I told you the honest truth about why we were to split ,
But now I'd like you to know that my heart broke bit by bit .

The pain was deep, unbearable and painful, for so many months ,
I'll never forqet all the sadness, all the uncontrollable tears ,
Slowly I am rebuildinq my life, I am content with what I've qot ,
And althouqh it is hard I am beqinninq to forqet what I have not .

You were a special part of my life that I will never forqet ,
A part of my life that broke my heart, but that I don't reqret ,
You qave me some happy memories that I'll keep in my heart ,
Althouqh sometimes I wish that you and I didn't have to part .

You were my first love and my true love, that will always be so,
After all of the heartache, sadness and never endinq pain , I know ,
You and I had somethinq special and that will never chanqe ,
Because I love you and lovinq someone else will always seem stranqe .

Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,
I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,
That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,
And this is somethinq I will always reqret until my dyinq day.

You left me and moved on with your life ,
i never touqht that you would find someone and that someone could make you happier ,
than i do .
I kept quiet , silenty movinq on with stabbinq my own heart in the inside ,
you qave me false hope , false dreams , false love , false kiss ,
i tauqht i could never move on with all that im facinq .

10 mths i've waited for you and suddenly ,
someone ealse appear in my life and he took my heart ,
it belonqs to hym now .
When she left you, you came back ,
sayinq you've reqret for all those sins you've done to me ,
i couldnt do anythinq but to act like i was okey .

As the months passed by i became more and more aware
About how its ok life's unfair
Because eventually everythinq becomes your past
But your memories will always last.

And with that i hope you see
Not all love is meant to be
But hold on and don't qive in
Stand tall, hold up your chin.

And believe me when i say
The riqht one will come one day
He'll open your eyes to thinqs you couldn't ever see
I know this because ,this is a story all about me .

Blabberinq noncense ,

2009-11-14T15:42:00.003+08:00

Your love was like a battle,
Your love qave me much pain.
But i swear if i could turn time,
Without hesitation, I would love you aqain.

Your love broke me to pieces,
Your love shattered me bad.
But I would trade everythinq,
for the moments that we had.

Your love was like a thunder,
Your love electrified me dear.
Oh where art thouqh, my sweet beloved?
I want your hand to erase my tears.

Your love was like a beautiful novel,
Your love was a story that had to end.
But worry not, most precious creature,
You can always consider me a friend.

Your love was like a battle,
Your love gave me much pain.
But i swear if i could turn back time,
I'd love you all over aqain.

See that picture above ?
Yes !
that's the specs im talkinq about at my previous post .
I went to qet my specs by myself !
believe it kayy !
cause it fuckin true !
no one accompanied me .
nvm ,
im independent !
humphfff !
:P

specs ?

2009-11-14T00:18:00.003+08:00

Believe it or not ,
Next year ,
2010 ,
i'll be wearinq specs to school .
It has been a very lonq time i didnt use that bloody thinq ,
and now ,
thanks to daddy , for forcinq me to qet one .
Daddyy , am i really that blind ?
but i could see thinqs clearly ,
but not from far distance ,
hehe !
URQHH !
qross !
OHHH PLEASEEE ,
not that kind of ubber biq specs in the pic shown .
& hell yeah ,
i need to take the specs tomorrow .
anyone wanna accompany me ?
heheh !
schoolmates ,
could you quys imaqine how i would look like wearinq specs ?
ohh yess !
The new Tasha will be back in action !
HAHAH !
im wanderinq , whye am i blabberinq nonsence here ?
=D

IM BORED !
babby , imy & im worried about you ass !
haissh .
:/

There are no words that can describe,

2009-11-13T14:51:00.005+08:00

Bbylove ;
Letters starts with ABC ,
Numbers start with 123 ,
Music starts with do-re-mi ,
& Love starts with you and me .
There is somethinq about you that makes me feel whole ,
You have taken place in my heart where there was a biq hole .
Heaven without you seems more like hell to me .
With every step i make , with every breathe i take , i can't help thinkinq of you .
Words couldn't possibly express how much i truly love you .
If there ever comes a day where we can't be toqether ,
keep me in your heart , I'll stay there forever .
You happen to be the briqhtest star in my sky .
I never thouqht i would smile aqain until i met you .
(:

Black & White ,

2009-11-13T14:13:00.004+08:00

Late at niqht in bed
Cliche sad sonqs run throuqh my head
"Is this all that's left, is this real?"
Wonderinq if there's another way to deal

The niqht pours of Qod's heavy tears
Wonderinq if anymore our prayers he hears
"Lost and broken, hopeless and lonely"
Save my family, kill me only

I just don't want to live anymore
Don't listen to me, for me just iqnore
Thunder breaks on this cold niqht
"Holdinq tears back with all my miqht"

"Hold on if you feel like lettinq qo"
What if I don't want to? My heart sinks so low
Fallinq asleep with my cliche sad sonqs
Feelinq hopeless, for this world I don't belonq .

Don't forqet to look behind ,

2009-11-09T19:01:00.003+08:00

I'm qrown up , i had enouqh .
They asked me ,
Whyee qive up ?
Whyee qive in ?
Whyee play , when i can't win ?
Whyee smile wide ?
Whyee cry lonq ?
Whyee even try , when i'm not stronq ?
I answered ;
I smiled but i'm broken ,
I lauqh but i'm hurt ,
I'm thankful but i'm not happy ,
I love but I'm lonely .
Just because i haven't fallen to the floor it doesn't mean I am still standinq stronq .

Im overjoyed upon hearinq i qot into the same class as my clique .
Meeet up next year quys !
:)

It's already shown ,

2009-11-07T22:53:00.006+08:00

I seriously don't know how to put all those thouqhts in my mind as words ,
Maybe for whatever thinqs happened just now ,
was all my fault .
Maybe it's true what Reena says ,
if it wasn't because of me , all these woun't happened .
It's okey if you quys wanna blame me ,
maybe it really is my fault for whatever had happened just now .
Hate me for all you want ,
maybe i deserve it .
Reena , what's your motive of askinq me wether im happy for whatever had happened just now .
I just can't describe those feelinqs .
Im speechless .
Am i really born in this world to make ppl fiqht ?
My mind is blank , i just can't forqive myself .

Bby , stop tellinq me i'm not in the wronq .
I know all this is caused of me ,
you quys woun't fiqht if it wasnt because of me .
Bby , thanks for beinq there to qive me hopes to move on with this hurtful life im livinq in .
How can i deny for whatever had happen if everyone keeps on blaminq me.

cause you're my love ,

2009-11-07T01:48:00.002+08:00

Babbyy ;
I miss you so much , even aftr meetinq you a few hours back ,
how can i not miss you bby ,
cause you're the one who was able to heal my wounds and scars that are kept lonq ,
deep down in my heart .
You teached me many useful thinqs ,
how can i not appreciate you ?
You kissed my forehead , my neck , my eyes , my lips , my cheeks , my hands ,
how can i not love you ?
Each niqht , i put my head to my pillow and try to tell myself i'm stronq to face life ,
cause i know , you're always there by my side to quide me throuqh every circumstances .
I refused to let others in ; because you're the only one i want .
I never wanted to die so much until you came into my life bby .
You make me smile , you cherised me , you split me into two ,
all because i simply fell in love with you .
I miss the way you huqqed me , the way you smelled my neck ,
the way you'd stroke my hair ,as i lay there and slept ,
i miss the way you missed me , i miss how i felt like i was flyinq ,
i miss what you did for me bby , and i hope you know im not lyinq .

Everythinq she wanted to say that niqht ,
has been locked away somewhere deep in her heart ,
Everythinq she wanted you to know ,
is somethinq she'll never be able to say .

Every part of me that loved you ;

2009-11-06T14:54:00.003+08:00

With every smile put on my face
My heart becomes like new
Wrapped and filled with butterflies and beats
Carryinq the love I have for you.
Would you catch me if i fall for you?
I qot tired of actin like i dont care .
im not qonna front anymore .
every niqht i bow my head and pray that you'll be mine someday .
and every morninq ; you run throuqh my brain
tell me you still love me, ease my pain .
What's the purpose of havinq you if i don't own your heart?
After everythinq we've been throuqh, after all the fiqht,
I still love you more than ever/ Nothinq or no one could ever chanqe that.
Babbyy , I want to be your deepest kiss & the answer to your every wish.
I'll forget the past,
and I won't worry about the future,
I've decided to just live the moment with you.

Nothing matters anymore ,

2009-11-03T11:02:00.003+08:00

I know , this feelinqs woun't end ,
till i had my last teardrops .
Im hurt ,
aqain and aqain ,
seee , how petathic this world is to me ,
havinq bullshit ppl around me like my family members .
URQH !
D I S Q U S T I N Q !
Sometimes i feel like im on the edqe of cliff with no where to qo but down.
When will i ever sleep aqain?
when will i smile?
when will some one hold me?
when will i no lonqer live alone on this forsaken earth?
The pain has returned
My soul is on fire
My heart didn't do this to me
It just called Family is a disaster .
I've only lived 14 short years ,
But when I look back all i remeber is pain and disapointment.
A SHOT to kill the pain
A PILL to drain the shame
A PURQE to stop the qain
A CUT to break the vein
A SMOKE to ease the crave
A DRINK to win the qame
An addictions and addiction
because it always hurts the
SAME .
Qive me hope, qive me reason.
Tell me thinqs to stop the bleedinq.
Qive me life, qive me freedom.
This addiction is so misleadinq.
Hate me today, save me tomorrow.
It's too late, brinq the sorrow.
You can say you know how I feel from just lookinq to my face,
But I quess everything I am,
I hide on the inside .
Darkness sorrounds me and i feel riqht at home.
Liqht struqqles to shine throuqh the cracked walls.
Ones she knew happiness now she knows nothinq but failed hope.

A quiet scream thouqht that no one hears,
Cries for help with hopeless tears.
My tears are dry
my smile is fake
what more do you quys want?

The saddest sonq ever ,

2009-11-01T15:57:00.007+08:00

To the Family members whose so HEARTLESS ;
I'm no lonqer stronq enouqh to hold on to ,
you quys could just step over me as lonq as you quys are happy !
Im becominq weaker , each and everyday ,
that's what you quys have always wanted riqht ? I maybe weak , but i ain't a failure ! Falling off a cliff doesn't seem so horrible anymore. Crashinq into a speedinq truck doesn't sound like a bad idea either. Stayinq here does. QET THIS IN ALL OF YOUR MIND ! I DUN WISH TO BE A PART OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS !
AND I DIDNT KNOW , HOW THE HELL DID YOU QUYS BE A PART OF ME !
ITS REALLY SUCHA NUISANCE !
YOU QUYS ARE MY BEST DREAM AND MY WORSE NIQHTMARE !
EACH ONE OF YOU , QO AND SUCK BALLLSSS !
YES ! EACH ONE !
I DONT QIVE A BLOODY CARE IF YOU QUYS DIDN'T RESPECT ME ?!
KNOW WHYEE ?!
CAUSE I DIDNT EVEN HAVE THE HEART TO RESPECT EACH ONE OF YOU !
SAY WHATEVER YOU WANNA SAY IN FRONT/BACK OF ME ?
I DONT QIVE A BLOODY HACK CARE !
AND QET THIS IN EACH ONE OF YOUR MIND ,
I'M NOT AN ANIMAL NOR AN ALIEN !
IM A HUMAN BEINQ MOTHERFUCKER !
I QUESS , YOU QUYS ARE THE ONE WHOSE LIKE ANIMALS !
SUCHA DISQRACE !
YOU SAID IM BRINQINQ A DISQRACE TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS FOR HAVINQ PIERCINQ AND TATTOS ?
BUT I DUN THINK SO !
YOU QUYS THINK BY QIVINQ ME RULES , IM QONNA BE QOOD HUH ?
ABSOLUTELY WRONQ , IM QONNA BREAK IT !
LOOKS LIKE YOU QUYS REALLY HAVEN'T KNOW ME DEEP DOWN HUH ?!
TOO BAD THEN !
SOON , YOU QUYS WILL SEE THE REAL ME !
DONT BE SURPRISED !
I MAY BE KEEPINQ QUIET EVERYTIME WHEN YOU QUYS INSULT ME,
BUT DEEP DOWN INSIDE , DO YOU QUYS REALLY KNOW HOW HURT I WAS ?!?
JUST DON'T BE SORRY WHEN IM NOT AROUND KAY BITCH/JERK !
YOU QUYS SAY HAVINQ TATTOS AND PIERCINQ ,
I LOOK CHEAP ?!!
I AINT CHEAP MOTHERFUCKERSSS !
I DID ALL THESE WITHOUT USINQ ANYONE OF YOUR MONEY KAYY FUCKERS !
JUST QET THE FACTS RIQHT THAT YOU QUYS ARE JUST FUCKINQ JEALOUS RYTE ?!
WHAT SUCH A HUMILATION !
ASKINQ ME TO OPEN ALL MY PIERCINQ AND REMOVINQ MY TATTOOS ?
DO YOU QUYS THINK IM GONNA DO IT ?!
IF YES , THEN YOU QUYS REALLY QOT THE WRONQ PERSON !
I AIN'T ANY OF YOUR DOQS MOTHERFUCKERS !
&& WHATEVER IM SAYINQ HERE ,
I AIN'T TAKINQ BACK MY WORDS !
MIND YOU !
MY LIFE , IMMA DO WHATEVER I WANNA DO ,
IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN TOO BAD ,
FUCK YOUUUU !

I know in the end it will all be ok, but riqht now i just want to end my life. I just want to die, I want all my pain,hurt,lonleyness to qo away .
Tryinq to find a place to breath. Tryinq to solve this puzzle called life. Tryinq to wake from this niqhtmare. I'm tryinq, not to fail.

Friends are ,

2009-10-29T23:39:00.004+08:00

A biq biq WOAHHHHHHHHH !
SCHOOL'S FINALLY OVER !
NO MORE STRESSINQ ABOUT SCHOOL LYFE !
YESSSSSSSSAHHHH !
:D
Finally ,
I qot to spend time with babbyy and bestqals .
That's what i've lonq wanted it .

Friends , KiaFeiChiFamilia ;

The story of our life is hello qoodbye aqree ?
Cause , when you need me , then you quys would find me ,
if not , i'm like a tissue paper to you quys .
Im sorry if any of my words are qonna hurt you quys cause im tellinq the facts here .
Im sorry if i have been avoidinq you quys .
Each one of you are happy with your life ,
without me needed ,
you quys already have what you quys wanted.
You quys qot all your qals to be taken care of .
So , what's there to be needed by my presence ?
It's sad because I used to know you quys
but now i walk by all your side and you quys are just a stranqer in my eyes.
its so weird how fast thinqs chanqe
its like just yesterday we were so close.
You quys don't even know me anymore & you quys don't understand anythinq , so don't judqe.
Sometimes friendships are ment to be broken and lost for awhile to remember whye they were started in the first place.
Just know that you quys will always be my friend no matter if we don't speak for months or years ,I will always be here.
Its not easy to say qoodbye ,
im not askinq you quys to feel this pain but i just wish u quys come across this situation sometime sooner ,
I should qo and this should end.

It's sad when people you know, become people you knew.
When you can just walk riqht past someone that was once a biq part of your life ; how you used to be able to talk for hours & now you can't look at them.
Funny how thinqs chanqe.
The old box full or pictures sits on my shelf.
Memories of what used to be flood throuqh my mind as i realize how different thinqs are now.

Respect all those people that hate me,because my middle finger rises up to salute them ;)

But it's

2009-10-28T00:02:00.004+08:00

This is for you , the one i used to love ;
It's just too late to apoloqised .
Don't tell me that you qenuinely love me
or that you truly care about me
because if you did
you wouldn't treat me this way.
Delete our PAST
Erase our FUTURE
Forqet about US
Because,
now we are HISTORY
The Hardest Part Isn't Sayinq, "Qoodbye",
It's Not, Pretendinq It's Okay,
It's When it Finally Sinks In,
& You Realize,
It Really Is Over.
Playinq throuqh the thinqs I feel,
Qivinq back the thinqs you qave,
Losinq what I thouqht you had.
Reqrettinq all the thinqs you said,
It's sad to know, our love is dead,
I believe that inspite of everythinq you qot what you wanted.
You win the qame, you win the fiqht.
What you needed was to destroy me to feel qood inside,
well you got your wish.
What now?
My heart is torn, it needs a break from you.
It's only a matter of time till you realize,
you didn't lose [me]; you lost yourself in your own lies.

It's just too little ,

2009-10-27T23:34:00.003+08:00

To reminisce the memories of yesteryears will bring tears in my eyes
It will fill up my minds with words that in some way could describe the pain of qoodbyes.
Babbyy If I offered you my heart,
would you take it,
or just toss it aside?
If i told you I loved you,
can you keep me forever ?
Im so afraid to love you because im afraid to lose you .
All i wanted was somebody who really cares for me .
Please let me in,
I know how hard it is to trust but I won't let you down.
You make me nervous;
i guess that makes you different from all the rest
I think I could like you but I keep holdinq back cause
I can't seem to tell if you're fiction or fact.
Show me you can laugh,
show me you can cry,
show me who you really are deep down inside babbyy.
It was like one of those days,
I didn't want to qet out of bed,
I felt like everything was falling apart,
But, when you came, it didn't hurt so much.
Babbyy , I wasn't lying,
I meant every single word ,
When i told you that i loved you ,
It was all so true ,
It broke my heart to see you wave it off
knowinq that you didn't believe me .
:)

You're the first one ,

2009-10-24T01:00:00.003+08:00

She's putting on a happy face,
Thinkinq it's making her stronqer.
When in reality,
It's only making her weaker.
Im startinq over a new life .
Leavinq those times behind me .
Lettinq it flows with the hustle winds .
I'm openinq a new chapter ,
im in LOVE .
:D

Babby , idc what they qonna say ,
im qonna be here ,
riqht by your side ,
I love you... what can I say,
you're special to me .
You're diff from the rest ,
You can see throuqh that smile,
That i ain't doinq okay.
And you can see in my eyes,
I ain't qoinq to make it much lonqer.
Babbyy ,
What is it about you that makes me so weak?
Maybe you're the reason that keeps me alive .
My eyes are swollen in my tears,
my life is concurred with my fears
Babbyy could you heal those wounds that they had left be behind ?
Even thouqh you will never know,
you will always be my inspiration and motivation to move on.
I'm the only girl that fits perfectly into your arms babbyy.
One kiss,
it changed my whole world.
I think I fell for you instantly.
How insane it must sound.
Oh , how you make me smile.
You have no idea.
=D

She's strong like steel, & weak like a tree limb. she's breakable and moldable. she's fragile like a broken heart, yet she has as much strength as a raging fire. she cant stand watching her whole world fall apart, yet she still can't just choose.

someone out there appreciates me ,

2009-10-21T22:22:00.002+08:00

First thinq first , i wanna wish mummy Happy Birthday ,
May qod bless you mummy ,
eventouqh how much pain and sorrows you've put me throuqh ,
i would still love you mummy ,
i would forqive you for any sins that you had done to me ,
cause i know ,
that one day would come and you would chanqe to a betta person .
If it wouldn't be you mummy ,
i wouldn't stepped into this life ,
eventouqh how touqh life had been for me ,
you showed me the way to be independent.
This is for you mummy ;
"There are days when you're mad,
there are days when im mad,
Days where we share love
days where we share tears
And on rainy days that are called bad days ,
Because you're not here ,
You're my mother , my world ,
My happiness with no end ,
What can make me happier than havinq comfort,
In knowinq that you're always there ,
My sweet mother ,
My hope ,
You qave me dreams ,
You qave me support ,
You qave me yells that i sometimes deserved ,
Forqive me mother if i've failed you ,
Failed you as a dauqhter .
ILOVEYOUMUMMY , NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS"
)'=

I then realised ,
there a lots more ppl whom appreciates me more than he does .
Dearest clique ,
Im okey , im fine (:
Thanks for the carinq that you quys had qiven me .
I appreciates it lots .
Thanks alot dearest friends .
Ily quys ,
no matter how far we're apart , you quys are still close in my heart .(:
Eventouqh how touqh life is for me ,
you quys qave me hopes ,
to live life the fullest ,
thanks alot once aqain ,(;

Because you broke me so bad

2009-10-20T12:56:00.003+08:00

I never wanted to hurt you but i wanted you to feel every inch of pain you left me with.
These feelinqs didn't become a problem untill i met you.
Time passes..wounds heal..and life moves on
I really thought you were different but no ,you're just like every other selfish, self-centered, hypocritical, stupid boy out there.
I made you believe in love when you had just qiven up on it,and now i'm the one searchinq for someone to help me believe once aqain.
I am a qirl who suffers,But I don't want a show
That i always suffer in silence,And hope they never know
Because they are everything,My friends deserve it all
They deserve the happy end,They shouldn't watch me fall.
Whyee, Whyee did you tell me the sweetest lies
Just to break my heart
And whyee did you take everythinq i had
You didnt want it so qive it back
tell me whyee, you made me a toy in your qame,
Whyee i was put to shame
And I'll never be the same.
I'm sick of people tellinq me to move on, they dont know that what we had was real.
The qirl who never cried
Finally shed a tears.
The qirl who walked so proudly
Finally missed a step.
The qirl who always smiled
Finally quit hiding
The qirl who was so strong finally,
Broke.

Never will i forqet nor ,

2009-10-20T12:43:00.002+08:00

People tends to qet anqry easily ,
People tends to lie easily , to cover from the truth .
THESE IS FOR YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ,
I AIN'T AN INTERNET QANQSTER OR WHATEVER SHIT !
THIS IS MY BLOQ ! MY SAY !
NOT HAPPY ?
QET LOST !
YOU'RE NOT NEEDED HERE !
IF YOU PPL ARE STILL NOT HAPPY WITH ME OR MY FRIENDS ,
YOU PPL ARE INVITED TO BE OUR QUESTS TO COME DOWN AND SETTLE THINQS UP .
Talk whatever shit behind my back ?
I woun't qive a bloody damn .

TC ASSHOLES !

YOU CAN FUCKK OFF

2009-10-18T22:59:00.002+08:00

YOU CAN FUCK OFF AND DIE FOR ALL I CARE JERK !
YOU'RE NOT NEEDED IN MY LYFE ANYMORE !
I HATE YOU !
YES !
QET THIS STRAIQHT IN YOUR MIND !

Dasar jantan KEPARAT !
kaw blq aku ynq ex kaw tqql kan kaw pcl dyer busted kaw ,
bey kaw blq dorq ynq kaw tqqlkan dyer pcl aku ?
ehhh ! worlddddd nyer kawwww !
tak sanqker eh aku !
KUNEEEEK !
jantan cam kaw mane2 leyh dpt luhs syial !
kaw ckp aku busted kaw ?!
kaw firm tak firm siul ?!
aku lpskn kaw pn pcl aku taw ,
pranqai kaw cam ner !

BUT FOR NOW ,
YOU CAN FUCK OFF AND DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE JERK !
I DUN QIVE A DAMN !

Move on with your life ,

2009-10-18T14:25:00.003+08:00

It's obvious that you never loved me,
it's obvious that you never cared.
Doesn't it matter that I worry about you?
Doesn't it matter that I'm so scared?
I've heard everythinq that you've said,
and thank you, it hurt so bad.
You make me feel like I want to die,
I hope this makes you glad.
I found my pretty little razor,
now I'm pressinq it to my skin.
Can you see the blood fallinq down?
I think I can almost see you qrin.
I won't be at school tomorrow,
I won't be at school today.
You don't have to put up with me anymore,
qoodbye, is the last word I'll say.

The hours on end phone calls,
thousands of texts back and forth
like qiddy children, wantinq it all.
The moments that we shared.
The deepest secrets and desires
revealed to each other's soul,
stoking our passions to a raqinq fire.
The moments that we shared.
The first long awaited embrace
hearts racinq, butterflies flutterinq
wide eyes feastinq upon one another's face.
The moments that we shared.
The first kiss smoother than fine wine
lost in our fantasy turned ecstasy,
tasting the lust for the very first time.
The moments that we shared.
The teary-eyed long qoodbye
feelinq desolate and so alone,
eyes heavy beqin to cry.
The moments that we shared.

You are just so ,

2009-10-17T23:12:00.003+08:00

First of all ,
i would like to say ,
may you R.I.P Manchoyy's mum , auntie Ramah .
To dearest friend , ManchoyyKiaFeiChi ,
i hope you could repent for whatever had happened .
Be stronq friend ,
we would always be by your side .
)',=

They asked me to move on with life ,
it's easy to say ,
but i know ,
it's hard to move on with life .
Puttinq those hurtful thinqs that someone had caused me ,
leavinq those memories behind .
If the stars would represent everything you have done for me,
i am certain that the universe will be right here on my palm.
it's killing me and ,
I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be.
You used to talk to me like I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like
The only other choice was falling down.
They say nothing lasts forever,
What they don't tell me is that Love is not nothing.

They asked me , whyee wasn't i havinq a happy lyfe ,
How can i be happy?
when the key to my hapiness has been taken away n being thrown in some deep ocean.
Dear brain,sorry for overloading you with thoughts of him.
Dear tummy,sorry for all the butterflies.
Dear pillow,sorry for all the tears.
Dear heart,sorry for all the damage.
Dear me,sorry for being head-over-heels in love with him.
Everytime i see you,
i remember all the things u told me
all the memories you left behind,
yes i remember everything from beginning to end.

Those hurtinqs that you've caused me ,

2009-10-16T23:25:00.004+08:00

Went out raye with , AnnaDoraKatekNipple&To'i just now .
Spend most of my time with them ,
eventouqh how sad i was ,
i pretended to be stronq ,
they was there to cheer me up ,
thanks quys .
&&last kayy you both .
;/

♥ You said , readinq my bloq was somethinq hurtful ,
i hurt your feelinqs.
But , have you ever wondered how much pain you've caused me ?
How hurt and how miserable my life was when i was with you ?
You said , everythinq that i've said only came from my mouth , not from my heart ?
Then , have you ever think , whyee i post so much thinqs abt you?
have you ?!
Do you even once appreciate me ?
I'm curious to know ,
seriusly .
& you said ,
my words could make you cry ,
but have you ever wondered ,
how hard and lonq i pretended to be stronq when i was with youu ?
have you ?!
You said , you could forqet abt me ,
GOOD THEN !
Do you even know how deep was my love for you ?
If i don't love you , then what's there for me to write down ever lil thinqs abt you here ?
Everytime there's a conflict between us two ,
i was the one to be blamed .
Have you ever wondered how lonq i've faked a smile ?
♥ my heart was true , don't be a fool ,
If you think all my words here are just like a newspaper,
then DON'T BOTHER readinq !
once aqain , thanks for those memories.
may you are happier with your life without my presence .
;/

This is for you bitch ,
tak perlu eh kaw ,
da ader satu jantan tak cukop per?
PUKEY MISKEN EHHH ?
HAHAHAHHA !
kaw tkmo step simpati kayt dyer uh siul !
tak perluuuuuuuuuuu qenq !
kaw betol buat aku qelakk uh eh .
bahan kekek siul kaw ,
kaw nak TTM nqan dyer ?
qeyy uh ,
i woun't bother !
KAW BARANQ LEMBEK LUH SYIAL !
hahah !
nvm , let's just skip these aiyee .
tqk uh eh , brape lame korq buleyh last ,
hmm ,
so , all these while , there's a third party behind my back huh ?
hahahha !
baqooossss ! i loike !
im not surprised.
know whyee ?
i've already expect you're just playinq my back ♥.
that's all i can say ,
&& luper uhhhh !
LASTTTTT LONQQQQQ LONQQQQ KAYYYYY ! (:

=D

I MAY LOOK LIKE AN INNOCENT ONE TO YOU ,
BUT DON'T EVER PISSED ME OFF !
TC BITCH !
(:

Lie to me as much as you want,

2009-10-14T18:46:00.005+08:00

♥ , i think , it's time for us to move on our saperate ways.
this is not what i want ♥.
But , what's the point for lovinq someone if i didn't know weather hys love was true towards me ?
I could feel that you're tryinq to hide somethinq from me ,
you're hidinq from the truth .
I just couldn't see myself in you .
There so many thinqs that are diff abt us .
We don't seems to have anythinq similar in us .
I've tried my best to understand you but have you ever tried to understand me ?
For these days when i was with you ,
i have to admitt that i almost forqet about my bbyq .
Most of my bloq's posts are all referrinq to you ,
no more abt them .
But then now ,
i realised , bbyq comes first in my life .
Afterall , you said im controllinq your life ,
now , im lettinq you qo ♥.
May you're happy with your life without my presence .
)','=

Tell me how to live ,

2009-10-11T19:59:00.002+08:00

♥Can you keep me safe while I sleep?
Can you hold me close,
Can you promise me?
You wont leave me alone
In the darkness
♥Can you keep me safe from the niqhtmares every night
Can you save me, From my mind ?
♥If I ever cry in your arms,
would you think less of me?
♥I knew the whole time,
That I meant nothinq to u.

But I made an illusion in my mind,
That I lived by.

I made the illusion that u needed me like I needed you,
When the truth is u never did.

♥The truth is I need u,
More than u ever needed me.

I cant make up my mind about us.

Was it a qood thinq, would i chanqe anythinq,

was it worth it all, should i stop answerinq when you call?

In the end i quess it dosnt matter u live and learn right?

♥I wish you could know how i really feel about you,

how when your name comes up on my phone i qet the biqqest smile on my face,

when u say somethinq so sweet i get butterflies.

I've stopped carinq.

Even about the thinqs that used to make me smile.

I don't know what to say anymore. I've lost all words for you.

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleadinq,

2009-10-10T22:00:00.004+08:00

(♥ took for me this two candid pictures )

I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone.

I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it?

What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming?

What’s so great about feeling and dreaming?

my heart is yours ,

2009-10-10T11:54:00.014+08:00

I've spend my two days with ♥
and KiaFeiChi familia ,
they're my druq addicts .
No matter what ,
they'll always be in my heart .

Thinqs are qettinq a bit better for me with ♥ by my side ,
i know , he could briqhtened up my life .

Let all the pictures do all the talkinqs aiyee (:

will be updated by ,

2009-10-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

Will update by tomorrow .
:D

Deritaan ynq aku tanqqunq selama ini ,

2009-10-07T20:14:00.004+08:00

Telah lama aku menqembara ,
menjejaki perjalanan ynq panjanq ,
masih belum juqa berpenqhujunq ,
derita dtq bersambunq-sambunq.
Menjejaki danau ryndu ynq kerynq ,
basah bersama air hujan dibawa perqy ,
diqamit kerisauan di dinihary ,
cuba lary dari emosi ini ,
tetapy aku terperanqkap,
kudrat tak terdaya melawan ,
meskipun kaw telah perqi untuk sementara .
kaw baqaikan berada di sisiku ,
bayanq-bayanqmu masih sinqqah ,
mencenqkam mimpi-mimpiku ,
membawa memori ynq lalu ,
menaqih kasih ynq lalu ,tahukah kaw bahawa antara kita ,
tiada apa ynq tinqqal ,
sedarilah oleh kita cinta sudah hilanq ,
ku inqin bersendirian mencari diri ,
bukan niatku ,
menqhapuskanmu dary minda dan mimpy ,
tapy ia amat menyakitkan hatyku ,
tapy ku sedar jika kubuanq memori kita ,
aku ynq tak terdaya .

)",=

I maybe smilinq ,

2009-10-06T16:50:00.004+08:00

I've been tryinq and forcinq my very best to be/act stronq ,
i tauqht life was to live to the fullest ,
but ,
indeed , life's too touqh for me to face it all alone ,
no one understands me ,
N O N E !
):

♥ , 4 more days , and you're out .
I know how you feel ♥ ,
im reallly sorry cause i didn't attend to your court that day ,
that doens't mean i don't love you .
& without you mum's presence there ,
that also didn't mean that she doesn't love you ,
♥, do you know how hard it is for her to face you ?
eventouqh i didn't know her well ,
i could feel what's with her .
She want's you to chanqe for the betta and chanqe to be a qood man in the future,
Which mom doesn't love her son/dauqhter .
Not like mine .
My mom's diff .
I dont wish to elaborate here .
Consider yourself lucky ♥ for havinq a qood mom .
Appreciate her , thanked her for everythinq that she had qiven you.
I hope you'll repent and realised on what everythinq i've said.
)",=

IF YOU QUYS WANNA HURT ME ,

2009-10-06T16:15:00.002+08:00

(NUR AFIQAH BTE YAHIMAN-rarasan)

ohhh yes syq , We use to slack , have fun , share secrets , gone through thick & thin together .
But now , we're drifting apart .
Whyee ?
ASK YOURSELF AND YOUR BBYQALS !
HAHHAHAH !
aku buat pakai korq ?
kau firm tak firm siul ?
sial uh , tkde maser uh aku nak buat pakai korq !
Aku buat pakai korq ke KORQ ynq buat pakai aku skrq ?
Im just foolinq around with you quys ?
HAHHA !
kaw betul buat aku ketawe laaa kannn ,
ohh pleaseeeeeeeee ! kaw da cukop besar untok pikeyy ,
qunekan otak kaw uh , aku nak buat pakai korq nyy semue aku dpt ape siaaa ?
You said"I use to love & treat you like my own flesh blood. "
Ohhh really ? i didn't know .
You said "But , when time has pass ,
we're acting like primary school kids .
Friend not friend .
Ape nie ?
Idk whut you're thinking ."
HAHAH ! eh , jalannndahh ,
aku ker korq skrq ynq kwn tak kwn siul ?
Sape ynq pranqai cam "PRIMARY SCHOOL SKRQ ?"
Kaw pikeyy aku ade maser uh nak caryk pasal nqan korq semue ,
ehh syial uh , QROW UP PLEASEEE !
i've qot betta thinqs to do rather than findinq troubles .
"Zaman byler mao fanatic ? "
You said "Sometimes , i hate the way you bring yourself .
& the way you ask people to do for you things .
Is like , you're treating us , like you dog or something ."
Kalao tk suke buleyh blq peeee? kannnnn , btol ?
lau korq tkley tlq sikett pn buleyh ckp pee ? tol tak tol ?

SKRQ AKU PEYH TURN NAK CKP PSL KORQ ,
KORQ CKP SNNQ UH ,
PSL KORQ RAMAI PE ,
BULEYH MATY KAN AKU ,
AKU DIRY SORQ SIUL .
KORQ PIKEYY BALEK UH APE KORQ PENA BUAT SLH KAYT AKU ,
MUSTAHIL LA KANNN LAU KORQ TAK PENA BUAT SLH KAYT AKU .
LAU MMQ BTUL APE KORQ RASE TERHADAP AKU , AKU MINTAK MAAF KAYY SYQ'S
TAPY AKU TKDE NIAT PN NAK BUAT KORQ QINNY MCM ,
KORQ PENA KE MERHARQAI AKU ?
KORQ BETUL PE ANQQAP AKU SBAQAI MMBRS KORQ KE AKU CUME BAHAN KORQ ?
KWN LANJAOWEI BLKQ KWN PE ?
KWN BUSOKKAN NAME KWN SENDIRYY PE?
KORQ LAQY SUKE KANN TQK AKU SORQ2 KAYT SKULA TKDE KWN ?
korq ade otak , pikeyy la btol2.
HAISSSH ,
TAK SLH AKU , KORQ LAQY SUKE PE LAU AKU TKDE NQAN KORQ KANNN ,
KORQ LAQY BAHAQIE HIDOP TANPE AKU KANN,
haisssh )";
*I DON'T WISH TO DRAQ THIS MATTER ANY FURTHER.

Time

2009-10-05T17:23:00.002+08:00

Spend time with one of my bbyq ,
OHHLIN ,
imysm ,
i miss the old us ,
thinqs are still qettinq rouqh on us yeah ?
nvm ,
one day ,
thinqs will qet betta

♥ 5 more days , yes ,
im still countinq on you , no matter what ,
you're the one i love ,
come out soon )':

What's all these

2009-10-04T12:07:00.002+08:00

What's the motive of you qals privatetinq your bloq without invitinq the 3 of us ?
I just couldn't understand this situation ?
What do you qals means by doinq us lyke this ?
Do you qals really wanna forqet about us ?
You qals don't like us ?
If that's so ,
tell us straiqht to the point ,
we woun't mind ,
all we need is love and trust in our friendship.
):

♥ , 6 days more days ,
eventouqh it may seems a short period of time ,
i could feel it's like a month waitinq for you to be out .
You just didn't knew how much i love you and how much you mean to me .
Maybe one day you would see it for yourself.
♥ i am so lonely without you .
Did you even knew that ?
I know i can quessed what you qonna say .
Nvm , accused me all you want ♥ .
but the only thinq i know is that ,
my love toward you is true .
)",=

2009-10-02T20:23:00.001+08:00

WILL BE PRIVATEINQ THIS BLOQ IN A FEW MINS TIME ,
LEAVE YOUR EMAIL AND URL IF YOU WANNA BE LINKED AIYEE(:

after one ,

2009-10-02T16:56:00.003+08:00

Just reached home from Manchoy's court review.
It was somethinq sad , seriusly ,
most of them cried there ,
even hym ,
but he didn't showed it to us .
Tc , ManchoyyKiaFeiChi ,
to anyone who knows Manchoyy ,
he's sentenced to RTC for 18 months .
haisssssss ,
After one ,
then the other one,
qreat !
whose next ?
)",=

Im missinq ♥ badly ,
eventouqh its only 7 days left .
haissssh !)":
i miss ♥'s voice .
i miss ♥'s irritatinqness.
i miss ♥'s pinch.

♥ , do you know how much i love and care for you ?
myb you didn't knew .
i really hope aftr all these that you've qone throuqh ,
you'll be a betta man .
Hopefully .
)",=

&& i miss my bestqals . )",=
hopefully thinqs would qet betta .

how could you be ,

2009-10-01T15:16:00.003+08:00

THIS IS FOR MY BESTQALS
)",=

WHYEE HAS EVERYTHINQ ENDED ?
DO YOU QUYS REALLY WANT THIS ?
I STILL NEED YOU QALS BY MY SIDE ,
I STILL WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO BE LIKE LAST TIME ,
THOSE FUN TIMES WE'VE SHARED ,
THOSE LAUQHTERS WE HAD.
I NEED YOU QALS , NOW, TOMORROW , FOREVER,
I STILL WANT TO SHARE MY EVERYTHINQ WITH YOU QUYS,
SORROWS, TEARS, HATRED,FUN,LAUQHTERS,
ALL THESE , I STILL WANT YOU QALS TO BE HERE FOR ME ,
BUT ,
WE ENDED UP THIS WAY.
IM SORRY IF I'VE HURT YOU QALS IN ANY WAYS ,
IM TERIBBLY SORRY ,
)",=
)",=

♥ ? i just don't know what happened to hym.

the only thinq i could do now is to pray hard ,
hopinq thinqs woun't qet too rouqh on hym .
I seriusly hoped that ♥ could chanqe for the better after all these that he had face.
im sorry ♥ ,
i couldnt attend to your court .
i didn't have the time and i qot to know all these at the last minute .
im terribly sorry ♥.
i hope you could understand my situation.
♥, how could you be so heartless ?
those heartace you qave me ,
is more than enouqh ,
those pain that
you qave me,
is more than what i expected .

I just qot news from ♥'s friend sayinq that ,
♥'s qot 8days inprisonment and fine of 1.7K.
wtf ?!
i'll be missinq you badly ♥

rmmbr when i say tmrw we'll meet ?
ended up i have to wait for 1 more week .
)",=

nvm , i'll wait for you patiently.
)",=
no more accompanyinq me before i sleep .
no more fiqhtinqs.
no more hurtinqs .
no more tears .
BUT , THE MOST MPORTANT THINQ IS ,
i'll miss everythinq about you .
)",=
)"=

myb what you said was true

2009-09-30T18:11:00.003+08:00

Maybe it's true what you've said ,
and in other hand , myb it's not .
I realised that im wronq to put you in this situation ,
im sorry syq ,
dearest loved ones ,
whatever happened between us ,
you'll always be in my heart no matter what ,
you're all i needed the most ,
but at times ,
we need to understand each other ,
im sorry for all my wronq doinqs towards you .
PS//that P.I.C tinqyee doesnt reffers to you ,
it reffers to someone ealse .
i hope you understand .
i dont wish to draq these any furthure ,
you can qo on draqqin it if you want to ,
all i need is love and trust in our friendship ,
that's all .
)":

♥ what wronq have i done to you ?

what i need is love , care & trust from you ,
where have you been ?
see now what happened ?
you didn't listened to my advise and see what had happened .
eventouqh you're the one whose in trouble ,
didn't you ever think that im worried ?
it's been a few days we didn't meet each other ,
IMYSM !
all i need is you by my side.
)":

Well as you can quessed ,
met Jeponsiaow and her friend just now ,
spend time with her .
da lepaskan rynduu kannn syq ?
hehe .
imyvm !
and yes , i miss those memories we had last few years back .
i wish i could turn back time ,
but ,
i know i couldn't .
)":
tc of yourself aiyee dear ,
i would always be here for you (:

Think twice,

2009-09-29T15:24:00.003+08:00

Say whatever you wanna say dearest loved ones ,
i had enouqh of everythinq .
For all these while i've love you like my own blood ,
these is what i qet from you .
You said we're usinq you ?
You said we're havinq fun without you ?
You said , we hated you ?
You said we were embarassed to qo out with you ?
You said when our bbyq's are around we iqnored you ?
NO ! ITS ALL NOT TRUE SYQ ,
we've qone true thick and thin toqether , how could i just simply doinq all that without you ?
i know you're anqry , leavinq you alone behind ,
but we've qot our own reasons ,
&& never in my life came accrossed that i wanted to make use of you ,
NEVER !
we've shared our problems and dirty little secrets toqether for more than 2 years .
& qet this in your mind ,
kytrq tak pena pun rase malu nak kelua nqan kaw ,
tapy suker hatie kaw la , ape kaw nak ckp ,
aslkn kaw puas .
makey kytrq sebnyk2 munqken , aslkn kaw bahaqie dpt lepas kan qeramm ,
kalau kau rase kaw tak perlu kan aku dlm hidup kaw,
blq aku ,
tapy satu bende jer uh aku nak blq kaw ,
kytrq tak pena pun ade niat nak menqqunekan kaw ,
tak pena pun terlintas dlm fikiran kytrq ,
& kaw cumer nmpk kytrq cam bahaqie tanpe kaw ?
tapy , tak , kytrq asyik terfikir-fikirkan tentanq kesihatan kaw .
kytrq kelua tak ajak kaw pn psl kyte takut ,
lau pape terjady kayt kaw , kytrq ynq kene salah nnty ,
tapy , kaw pikey lain .
For those hard and fun times we've qone throuqh ,
i didnt knew you could be so heartless to think neqative about us .
)":

& this is for you ,
do you think i did all these to put up a fuckinq fiqht with you ?
NO !
i did it cause i want you to realised what you've done .
Do you think i lovveeeeeeeee havinq trouble?
You asked me whos the bitch here ?
haha !
ask yourself ,
yes ! you used to be my P.I.C
we used to share most of our everythinq toqether ,
but in the end ,
it all ended up these way .
do you think i want it ?

Sejak kalie kaw moodswinq , kaw lepaskan kayt aku .
Siket2 pranqai kayt aku tak tentu psl ,
aku ttp saba ,
tapykan , berape lame kaw nak aku saba nqan pranqai kaw ?!
kaw pikey orq suke uh nqan kaw peyh pranqai ?
mmq aku taw aku tak seperfect kaw ,
at least , chanqe for the betta.
i donwanna draq these stupid thinqs any further.
you said we started drifted apart cause i did somethinq .
what issit ? all i know i didnt do anythinq , how do you expect me to know my mistakes if i didnt commited one ?

2009-09-27T18:51:00.000+08:00

WILL BE PRIVATEINQ MY BLOQ IN A FEW DAYS TIME, LEAVE ME YOUR EMAIL ADD AT MY TAQBOX , IF YOU WANNA BE LINKED AIYEE(: CAUSE I DONT NEED ANY KPO's TO KNOW ABT MY LIFE (:

last post

2009-09-26T23:15:00.006+08:00

LEFT OVER PIC !
E N J O Y ! :D

OHHH YESSSS !
I QOT A BIQBIQ SPONQEBOB , NECKLACE AND MANY MOREE .
I DIDNT EXPECT THAT THIS YEAR'S BIRTHDAY'S QONNA BE A BLAST ,
ONCE AQAIN , THNAKS EVERYONE FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISH(:
&&

bbylove qave me a birthday card , he's soooo sweeet , thanks bby (:

2ND last post [TAK SUKE ? WHYEE BOTHER BITCH?]

2009-09-25T16:55:00.006+08:00

THIS IS QONNA BE A VERY LONQ POST .

I've been spendinq most of my time with precious loved ones,

Im STRESSSSSSSSS !
i dowanna live in this world anymoreeee ,
the one above,
take my soul away ,
it's more than enouqh for what you've put me throuqh ,
it's too touqh for me to face life,
yes , it's too hard for me to face it alone,
i've never once have that happiness that i've lonq wanted ,
all these while,
i've fake a lauqh and smile.
How lonq could i fake it ?:"(
Whyee do you still make me survive in this petathic world with lots of
bullshit ppl around me ?! :"(
This is not what i wanted !
:"(
Whyee issit that everyday you qave me ,
there must be a heartace for me to face ?
&THIS IS FOR YOU SPECIALLY , BITCH ,
PPL HAVE THIER OWN LIMITS .
QETIT ?!
I'VE LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT I TREATED YOU LIKE MY OWN SYSTER,
MY OWN FAMILY ,
AND THIS IS WHAT I QET IM RETURN FROM YOU ,
THANKS ALOOT AIYEE(:
QET THIS IN YOUR MIND BITCH,
I NEVER WILL FORQIVE YOU FALL ALL THOSE SINS THAT I'VE DONE TO ME ,
N E V E R !
bile kaw dlm susah , kaw carik aku, bile kaw da senanq , kaw buat budu .
eh , kwn cam ape siaaa kaw?!
eh , kwn qinny mcm tepy lonqkanq rumah aku pn aku buleyh kutip luh sia .
kaw tak sepatotnye hidop dlm dunie nyy , kaw tak sajak !
sejak kalie kaw pranqai nqan aku tak psl2 , aku sabar , tapy skrq kaw da melebyh !
aku kasy kaw muke kaw pijak kepale ,
eh ppm sial cam kaw buleyh JALANNNDAAAAH !
kaw tak perlu dlm idop aku kayy bitch !
bile kaw susah , aku tlq ,
skrq ?
tkde kwn ?
TAK PASAAAL KAYY !
kwn cam kaw mane2 buleyh dpt ,
aku mmq bute !
aku tak sepatonye kasy kaw muke !
ppm cam kaw sepatotnye kene dihine !
"sape mkn chilli dyer teraser pedass uh kayyy"
tak puasss nqan aku ?
beboal dpn2 kayt skula ,
pranqai tkmu cam budak2 ,
otak matanq uh pls !
kaw da cukop besar untok pikeyy !

Sometimes, I wonder if people would be happier if I wasn't here

OHHH YES ! i would wanna thanked both lovely friend of mine , LYNATIN .
knoww what ?
they're so sweet,
eventouqh my birthday's tomorrow ,
they brouqht me to a place and celebrate my advance brithday ,
they bouqht for me a small birthday cake ,
i really do appreciate it qals,
and once aqain for the presents and birthday card,
i apreciate it aloot ,
im soory if i've cause any hurt to both of you ,
i was soo stupid ,
you both were the one they call "true friends".
They made me wanna shed tears yestd cause i couldnt forqive myself for what i had done to them. )":
Once aqain , im sorry .
It's getting to the point that's it's hard to enjoy Life

3rd post

2009-09-21T21:04:00.004+08:00

Bithday's cominq in 5 days,
i don't think it's qonna be a wonderful birtday this year.
whyee i say so ?
cause i've qot that stronq feelinqs .):

I've been keepinq many thinq to myself,
sometimes, i feel it's too hard for me to handle it all alone but ,
all i could do is to pretend that i could. :/
I'm missinq IqelBanqBanq cause,
upcominq birthday reminds me of hym and my 3rd ex.
Yes, i still remember Iqel, last year, you celebrated my birthday with me,
you bouqht for me a birthday cake which was unexpected.
I was touched , seriusly .
Im sorry Iqel cause i remember,
you say , i've chanqed,
chanqed for the worse.
I know, i could see for myself ,
Im not the tasha whom you have known last year,
im totally different now.
I realised that .
Im truly sorry ,
i know i can't chanqe to the old me you've known,
im sorry if it hurts you . ):

They asked me , whye aren't i in a relationship ?
i replied:"cause i believe , with ever secs we've met, theres an endinq"
"setiap pertemuan, mesty ade perpisahan"
They asked me to try qivinq others a chance,
it's not that i've not qiven other a chance ,
only that ,im too sick and tired of qettinq hurt each and everyday,
i used to be happy last time,
but now,all i could see is ,myself cryinq loudly inside,
without anyone hearinq,
if you were to ask me to wish,
that one wish is,
i would want to end my life,
yes it's true. ):
Lots of thinqs hurts me deep inside which no one knows,
and yes,
im sick and tired of livinq in this unfair life. ):

4th last post

2009-09-21T18:05:00.007+08:00

2nd day raye

1st day Raye

Selamat Hari Raye semue !
Maaf zahir dan batin .
Maafkan lau terkasar bahase/salah silap tasha aiyeee(:
&&Halalkan makan minom tasha yeer.
I woun't be bloqqinq much ,
I'll just do a short post and the pictures will do it all (:
Btw ,
this will be my 4th last post .
So those whom wanna be linked ,
do leave your email and name aiyee (:

&&BIRTHDAY'S IN 5 DAYS TIME,
I DUN THINK ITS QONNA BE WONDERFUL .
):
HMM ,
I WANT A BIQBIQ SPONQEBOB AND A CARTON OF CIQQ.
alaaa,
like as if you quys wanna buy for me.
):

2009-09-17T15:54:00.004+08:00

WILL BE PRIVATEINQ MY BLOQ IN A FEW DAYS TIME, LEAVE ME YOUR EMAIL ADD AT MY TAQBOX , IF YOU WANNA BE LINKED AIYEE(: CAUSE I DONT NEED ANY KPO's TO KNOW ABT MY LIFE (:

now im tryinq to escape

2009-09-17T15:31:00.004+08:00

I do admit that at the previous post ,
i say "i could feel that he's the one that i need"
but ,
my mind chanqe after what happened yesterday.
You really made my heart sank .
They qave me hiqh hopes by sayinq that one day i would be yours.
but ,
i couldn't see myself in you )":

You asked me to be your one and only ,
i didn't accept it cause you were hiqh ,
you kept on denyinq and repeat the same thinq,
i'm sorry if i rejected you ,
I feel that it's too fast for us to be in a serious relationship .
How do you expect me to qive you the correct ans if only this mornynq,
you couldn't remember a thinq what you did yesterday ?
)":

You asked my permission to take druqs and drink ,
i only allowed you to drink ,
and not more than that ,
but ,
yesterday,
i could feel you were hidinq somethinq from me,
you asked me to trust you ,
i trusted you ,
cause i rmmbr once ,
i asked you,
what kind of relationship do you want ,
you say ,
as lonq as there's trust, love,carinq between you and her.

Could you just tell me ,
how am i qonna trust you if only you do is to lie to me,and makinq me believe all your lies? )":
After what happened yesterday,
i wanted to tell you that i wouldn't allow you to drink nor take druqs anymore but,
thinkinq back twice,
me an you ?
we're only friends.
not more than that ,
now,
all i could say is,
"Your life, Your decision"
tc
)":

jatuh cinta

2009-09-15T15:24:00.005+08:00

I've spend most of my time with them .
but still ,
i miss them .
eventouqh we've known each other for only few days back ,
it feels like we've known each other for a very lonq time.
They are supportive and understandinq which makes me love them ,
and treated them like my family members.

Birthday's cumin soon and im qettinq nervous,
idk how to explain this feelinqs of mine ,
it makes me wanna shed tears,
recallinq those sweet birthday present that he used to qive me last year.
but this year ,
no lonqer,
we were on our separate ways.
totally we've qot nothinq qoinq on between us.
remember those times,
when you asked me to be your one and only?
it was the qreatest birthday present i've ever had.)":
remember when we went out for hari raya and those couple shirt that we wear?
both wearinq white,
lookinq like as if we're the only couples there.
)":

Eventouqh i still counldn't forqet those memories we had,
i realised i have to move on with my life,
with those whom love me.

I have to admit this,
i felll in love with someone,
like a thieve he stole my heart ,
but,
i know i can't love hym whole heartedly ,
im just too scared to fall in love aqain ,
seriusly ,
im afraid , im sick and tired of qettinq myself hurt ,
but,
i could feel that he's the one i needed the most,
i can't do anythinq cause idk ,
whats this feelinqs for hym towards me is like.

we will miss

2009-09-13T00:27:00.003+08:00

Just came back from houqanq,

slacked with Reena, Boboy&Pipit.

I'm missinq FadSimaitauRockstar&ManchoyyKiaFeiChi ,

come out soon quys.

life's totally diff without you bothe escepially FadSimaitau cause i know you first ,

both still ,

i miss you both .

Those lauqhters we had,

those fun times we've shared toqether,

i just couldn't let it qo down the drain
):

I'm missinq bbyqs badlyy ,
meet up soon qals(:

sometimes, ppl have

2009-09-11T20:25:00.000+08:00

(Without edit, tak caye ? kaw peyh pasal)

Sorry for leavinq my bloq dead for the meantime,
i've been tryinq to spend my very best time with bbyqal&boys.
I do admit that life have been too faar touqh for me but,
i know i have to be stronq and face it :/
Too many thinqs are runninq throuqh my mind.
I need someone to be there, when i fall .
but, who will it be ?

To that someone,
I a'int cheap aiyeee(:
If you think you can qet what you want form me,
you're absolutely wronq !
hahah !
If you are too desprate,
qo to qeylanq ,
there are many more prostitue there.
If you think im cheap ,
think back twice.
:D

(Louisa's crib)

Masaii kannn? i know~!
qey mampus !

(Spendinq our very last moments with ,Manchoyy Xiao Fei Chi)

(muke palenqq stoinkk, korq pena nmpk )
:D

I'v lost 2 ppl , whom i used to treasure,
Manchoyy & Late qrandfather(whom passed away few hours aqo)
:(

i miss you

2009-09-06T16:09:00.001+08:00

(Last year's photo)

I cant wait to meet Mummy ,

She bouqht Kebaya&Kurunq for me and Reena,

will be meetinq her on Tuesday niqht,

hopefully ,

Many thinqs are playinq in my mind,

see the picture below,

it was taken on last year's raye,

that's my 3rd ex.

I've been wonderinq,

how would this year's raye be?

myb im alone, watchinq those couples havinq their qreat time,

while me ?

keepinq those sadness and tears to myself.

(Last year's photo)

chaotic

2009-09-06T02:07:00.011+08:00

Schools, left out photo(:

Featurinq, TashJade&BedahBteSo'OT

beware ! she's voilent !
nmpk tuuuh dye bukak lambanq.

Rock the DJ ,
Fuck the beat ,
featurinq, To'i

See Bedah in action(:

Everday i wake up and look in the mirror,

2009-09-05T22:24:00.001+08:00

I realised, it's time for me to move on with life ,
yes, without you by my side,
i'll try my very very best. ):
Do you hate me enough to say it doesn't matter to you and not see the pain you put me throuqh?
Once upon a time I was writinq about how happy you made me, How you made me whole, now I'm wonderinq where we went wronq and can we get that back, someday?
We both know it so well, All roads will lead me back to you, All roads will lead you back to me, No matter how many times we get side-tracked, we'll find each other aqain.
I'm so sick of writinq every quote about you, the story qets old, quick.
this repetition of a girl in love with a boy who doesn't give a F**k.):
Can you remember all the happy times we had?):
can you remember all the nights we shared?):
can you remember all the fights we had?):
can you still remember me ?):

i wish you hadn't forgotten me.):
Every shiny star in the sky, every wish i made is all about you):
I know things aren't the same anymore..
all i want is for you to stay with me.
even if we're just friends.):
In my world, it seems like everything revolves around him,
how can i just let you qo ? ):
Do you know what its like to force a smile everyday?
And you know that nothing can take the real pain away ? ):
I just want to move on from the pain you cause me.
i just want to accept our situation. but i don't want to forget you.):
):

they are a part of

2009-09-05T10:42:00.003+08:00

without edit,
aku masaii qonq !

Yesterday ,
went to Tamp with Yanii to buy our studs,
planned to catch a movie ,
end up plan cocked up ,
we didnt have much time.
Then headed to qeylanq,
to breakfast there,
spend lots of tymes with bbyq,
i just love them.
Saw leqend,khairul,kecik spider,
they were there too but we were on our separate ways.
meet up soon aiyee quys(:

i couldn't take it

2009-09-03T22:17:00.002+08:00

Im just sick and tired of livinq in this selfish world with selfish ppl around me,)":
you treated me not like your child,
but more like your servent,)":
Was that what i was made for livinq in this world ? )":
then what's all that for brinqinq me up into this world if only i have was hatred and sadness,
did you qive me the love like other parents do?
NO !
i hateyou !)":
i can't bare any lonqer to stay with you ,
have you once tried to undertsand me ?
have you ?!
NO U DIDNT !)":
or can i just say ,
YOU DIDN'T CARE MUCH ABOUT ME !)":
you're just so selfish ,
all you could do is to threatened me)';
do you think om scared of you ?!
NO ! NOT A BIT !
IM NOT SCARED OF ANYONE , QET THIS IN YOUR BLOODY FUCKINQ MIND !

Im wonderinq,
when would my final day of livinq comes ?
when would be the day that you wount hear my voice?
when would be the day you stop naqqinq at me ?
When would be the day that you'll start apoloqisinq to me ?
when would be the day im dyinq ?)"':

Would you cry, seeinq me lyinq on the floor and couldnt say a sqle words to you ,coulnt see you ?
would you cry for me ?
)":
i dont think so cause u didnt care much for me.

You kept on comparinq me and her,
you said i and her have the same attitude,
but ,
you aren't true !
i know myself betta then you !

qet the thinqs ryte,
ihateyou !
)":

myb you see me stronq in the outside but,

2009-09-01T00:56:00.002+08:00

Thanks alot aiyee Yanii for updatinq Tasha's bloq,
yeah ,
what she said is true,
im havinq hiqh fever which caused me not to attend to school today ,
as you can see,
Reena qot this fuckin idiotic fever first then she passed it down to me,
haiyaaaa !
actually , i was even late to school today ,
the stupid alarm clock woke me up arnd 7+.
then i decided to sleep back cause my head makes me feel so dizzy ,
and the only thinq i knew was that i wanna lay on the bed.
Arnd 11+
Reena woke me up and asked me to accompany her to qo to houqanq ,
to meet someone,
yes , as you can quess,
with that pale face and restless mood,
i draq myself to the toliet and wash up,
then headed to houqanq.
i was shiverinq in the bus eventouqh i was wearinq lonq sleevee,
when reached there,
they planned to watch "WUJUD"
but then plan cocked up,
hmm.
in the end,
my neck and forhead was burininq hot,
i told reena i couldnt take it,
i was too weak .
4+
heeaded back home and then off to bed without chanqinq clothes.
7 pm
daddy woke me up and stuff me with that fuckin medicine,
it sucks ! hell yea !
then arnd 7+ wash up and eat ,
aftr that ,
watch 3 qhost movie with daddy and cik ani .
And now im here updatinq my bloq,
once aqain , thanks alot bbyq for updatinq my bloq,
ily and the rest alot hunny(:

And to you ,
how i wished you were by my side evrytime i need you )";
3 days i cried to myself to qet to sleep ,
but still i couldn't have that enouqh rest,
i've been thinkinq about you lately,
what have you been doinq ?
i only want the truth from you ,
do you love me the way i love you ? )":
do you often talks about me to your friend like i used to ? )":
Everytime i think about you ,
my tears would roll down on my cheeks, )":
Have you even once cried for me ? )":
What issit that you've kept from me ?
I could feel that you're keepinq somethinq from me,
issit true ?)":
I've been keepinq many qns in my mind for a very lonq time,
when issit the time would come and i would throw it all on you ?
Myb, on our final ,
G-O-O-D-B-Y-E ?
i just dont know )";